


Regret is in the past

by OneWithoutAName



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, CherikWeek2020, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Protective Erik, Reunions, Zombies, protective Charles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24610702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneWithoutAName/pseuds/OneWithoutAName
Summary: Six years after first class, the cold war escalates and the missiles are fired, destroying the world as it was known. Those who managed to live, fight for survival against each other and against the living dead. One would think that the mutants have advantage, but Shaw was wrong in his assumption that the radiation would make them stronger. On the contrary, it made them weaker, their powers only half of what they used to be. In this world of waste land, Erik and what’s left of the brotherhood are trying to survive.It’s five years later, they are cornered by the zombies while they were trying to gather supplies in abandoned town. The situation seems hopeless, until a silver haired boy appears out of nowhere and tells them to be ready to run.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 81
Collections: Cherik Week 2020





	Regret is in the past

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't supposed to write this, I was just supposed to write a summary of it and leave it at that. But when I started to write, my brain didn't let me to stop. So here it is, one day late, but here nevertheless. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, I took some inspiration from The Walking dead games (I haven't seen the TV series).

The zombies had them surrounded against a tall brick wall. They’d known that entering a town when the sun was already set was risky move, but they really needed more supplies. Now, as he was trying to bash as many zombie heads with his metal baseball bat as he could, Erik wasn’t sure if it had been a good enough reason. Raven was on his right side, fighting with an axe and Azazel was on his left side, using his remaining sword to try and keep the dead away. But there were too many of them to battle off, gurgling and grasping for them with their withered and rotting hands. They were not going to get out of this one.

“Azazel, teleport yourself out of here while you still can!” Erik ordered the red mutant. There had been a time when Azazel could have got all of them teleported, but after the missiles had been fired five years ago and the world had burned, the mutants found their powers weakening. They were barely half of what they used to be and even teleporting just by himself left Azazel weak.

“Not today comrade. We die together.” Azazel laughed and the selfish part of Erik was happy to have him there till the end.

“Maybe you should try to come up with a plan rather than embracing your glorious deaths! I’m not going to die today!” Mystique yelled at them, trying to keep their hope up until the last minute, but despite her stubbornness she knew that they needed a miracle to get out of this one.

And the world seemed to grant them exactly that.

“Be ready to run!” A new voice called out behind them, startling Erik so much that he looked around and let his guard down for a moment. In middle of their group stood a boy, about ten years old with silver hair and weird goggles over his eyes.

“What?” Erik asked. Where had this kid come from and why was he here? Erik was about to be run over by a zombie, but Mystique shouted at him to get his attention back to the fight. He flung his bat, giving it some extra boost with his powers and sent the zombie flying two meters away from him. Because he was more determined to keep his head in the fight, he only heard the noise of metal scraping the asphalt and Azazel’s swearing.

“Come on, let’s go!” Azazel shouted at him, pulling him and Mystique by their shoulders to face the right direction. There was a path open for them, the zombies lying on the ground, trying to get up, and some of them stuck under a fallen street lamp that definitely hadn’t been there before.

Erik was about to run, when he remembered the boy and turned around, about to take him to safety with them, but there was no one there. Erik looked frantically around for the kid, but in vain, he was nowhere to be found and the zombies started to close in on him again. There was no time to stay around and with a few curses and a heavy heart Erik turned to run after his friends. The zombies started to follow them, but they were slow and now that they weren’t surrounding them anymore, the escape was certain. A sudden ruckus from an alleyway behind them got the attention of the dead and slowly they started to make their way towards it instead, leaving their group alone.

They ran along the street, but didn’t get very far when they heard another new voice calling for them from a smaller path between two buildings.

“Hey! This way!” There was a red haired girl, same age as the boy before waving at them. Erik shared quick glances with his group, before they jogged to the girl. She was alone, but she had one back bag on her back and another in her hands. She must have been with the earlier boy, Erik guessed. Despite calling them there, the girl kept her distance.

“Did they get any of you?” She asked looking them up and down with wary stare. Erik put his bat away slowly and lifted his hands, wanting to ease the girls mind. From the corner of his eye he saw Raven and Azazel do the same.

“Don’t worry. No bites, I promise.” He assured and slowly, the girl nodded seemingly a little less nervous.

Erik was about to ask the girl’s name, when a sudden blow of wind came behind them and the silver haired boy from earlier appeared beside the girl, panting slightly.

“I told you that we could do it.” He said cheerfully as he lifted the goggles from his dark blue eyes and leaned against her shoulder. The girl didn’t seem to appreciate the gesture and stepped away from the boy, glaring at him with her green eyes.

“You were supposed to come straight back here you idiot!” She hissed and some kind of red glowing energy circled her hands before vanishing in the air. The boy flinched at her harsh tone.

“I just wanted to make sure that we’d get away.” He tried to explain, but the girl didn’t seem convinced.

“No, you just wanted to show off, like always!” The girl threw the back bag she was holding to the boy with so much force he had to take a step back. He turned to look at them, like he was quietly asking for help, but his brow furrowed with confusion when he saw Mystique.

“Why are you staring at me?” He asked and the blue mutant shook her head, like she hadn’t realised she had done it.

“Sorry, you just reminded me of someone…” She muttered and Erik was about to ask more, but the girl with red hair wasn’t done with berating the boy.

“What if something had happened to you? Dad would have killed me!” She asked with angry tone, but the boy just turned to smirk at her.

“But nothing did and I’m fine!” The red head opened her mouth to say something back, but the boy spoke so quickly that she didn’t get a chance. “And now we saved these guys here so dad can’t be angry at us when we get back with the medicine.” Erik’s suspiscions were proven right then. These kids were siblings, most likely twins as they seemed to be the same age.

“Shut up Peter!” The girl hissed and turned to look at Erik and the others with scared eyes as the boy, Peter, put his hands over his mouth as he realised what he’d said. They were lucky that Erik still had some morals left in him.

“Look, we are not going to hurt you or steal from you. Even if we didn’t owe a life debt for you, we don’t sink so low as to steal from children.” Erik kept his hands up and took a small step forward. The kids didn’t seem convinced, but didn’t run away either.

“Were you the one who moved that street light?” Azazel spoke up, looking curiously at the girl, who looked right back.

“Yes. It was me.” She answered, like she wasn’t entirely sure where this was going. The teleporter let out a low whistle.

“I don’t know guys, this girl could probably beat all of us if she wanted to.” He said with a smirk and the girl shrugged, trying to act humble, but her chin lifted just a bit with pride.

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“Hey! I can do cool stuff too!” Peter whined, feeling left out most likely.

“You ran to us when we were surrounded by the zombies right?” Erik asked the boy, who nodded eagerly. “That was brave of you.” Erik told him.

“Or foolish.” Mystique joined in and the smile on Peter’s face faltered. “You could have gotten severely hurt there.”

“Not likely. They are too slow to catch me.” Peter tried to play it off, but Raven wasn’t about to stroke the boy’s ego so much that he might someday die because of it.

“Pride becomes before a fall. Ever heard of that?” She asked and suddenly the boy seemed much guiltier, hanging his head down.

“Dad says that sometimes.” He said quietly, kicking the dust on the ground.

Erik turned to Raven, giving her a look that asked her to give the boy some slack. She rolled her eyes and sighed, but addressed the boy again.

“But nevertheless, I am grateful that you decided to help us. Both of you.” Mystique’s words made the both kids smile again and the atmosphere became much more lighthearted. It was incredible to meet other mutants, especially this young. Now that Erik thought about it, they were surprisingly young to have their powers already.

“We should probably see you to your group. Just in case.” Erik suggested, it seemed irresponsible to just let the children wander off by themselves. The kids looked at each other and seemed to have a silent conversation between them. Erik glanced at Mystique and Azazel, who both shrugged, but they waited patiently for the children to decide. Though, if they didn’t decide soon Erik would have to insist they moved, it wasn’t wise to stand in one place for too long.

Soon enough, the children turned back to them with smiles.

“Alright, you seem good enough people.” The girl said and Peter nodded.

“Yeah and if you need a place to stay for the night I’m sure dad will let you stay with us.” He said and put on the back bag. Erik wondered if their father was actually ready to let three strangers anywhere near his family, but a shelter sounded good right now.

“Sounds good to me. Show the way.” He told the kids, who turned around and headed further on the small path, to the east.

“It’s not that far, just in the outskirts of the town.” The girl said and suddenly it seemed strange to call her just that.

“I guess we should introduce ourselves. I’m Erik, the blue one is Mystique and the red one is Azazel.” Erik said as they walked through the abandoned town. There were zombies here and there, but they were easy enough to evade.

“I’m Wanda and the annoying one is Peter.” Wanda’s words made Peter gave her a hurt glare.

“Hey!” He whined.

“Hush!” Wanda told him and the boy looked even more hurt.

“I’m gonna tell dad.” He muttered.

“Don’t you dare!” Wanda seethed and Erik thought that it was better to interrupt, before things got worse.

“Are you traveling just with your dad?” He asked and managed to distract the children from their bickering.

“No, we have lots of people with us.” Peter answered before Wanda had a chance.

“Other mutants?” Mystique asked curiously and this time Wanda managed to beat her brother to it and answered first.

“Everyone in our group is a mutant.”

The information made all of them speechless. A whole group of mutants… It sounded almost too good to be true. They had met some mutants along the years, but those usually travelled alone and preferred it that way. The road hadn’t been easy and they had lost friends along the way. Angel had flown too low and caught in grasping hands of the zombies. Janos had fallen when they had tried to cross an unstable bridge. Emma was caught by surprise by a zombie and hadn’t had enough time to turn into her diamond form when it had already sunk its teeth to her leg. She had made Erik shoot her couple days later, she wanted to go before she turned. Some days Erik thought that if this wasn’t the end of humanity, it certainly was the end of the mutants.

Erik was pulled away from his thoughts when Peter spoke up again.

“You’re mutants too right.” He said and Wanda rolled her eyes.

“No, Peter, they are normal humans who happen to be blue and red with scales and a tail.” She mocked her brother who stuck his tongue out at her. Their interractions were just so normal that it made Erik almost forget what was happening in the world.

“Well, we are not only red and blue. I, for example, can also teleport.” Azazel said and showcased this by teleporting the short way to Erik’s other side, trying not to show how he was short of breath afterwards when the kids looked at him with wonder.

“That is so cool!” Peter said and Wanda turned to look at Raven.

“What can you do?” She asked and Mystique smirked at her, before she shapeshifted to look like Erik.

“I can do this.” She said with Erik’s voice before she changed back as the siblings stood there with wide eyes. “I’m also amazing and perfect in every way.” She winked at them and made Wanda giggle while Peter looked confused, before he turned to look at Erik.

“Do you have powers too?” He asked and Erik proceeded to float his knife from his belt to his hand.

“I’d say I do.” He smirked as the kids looked him make couple tricks with the knife before putting it back to his belt. “I can manipulate metal.” He explained and Peter smiled brightly.

“Our dad used to know a guy like that.” He said and made Erik wonder, if it was just a coincidence or if he actually knew these kids’ father from somewhere.

He didn’t have much time to dwell on that thought when he felt something metallic move towards them and soon enough, around a corner appeared a man carrying a shotgun. Erik moved before he even had time to think, he pulled the kids backwards with his powers, using the metal on their backbags and stood between them and the man, who had now lifted his gun and was aiming straight at him. Erik’s powers might not be what they used to, but this man felt like he was made of metal and with both hands raised in front of him to hold the man in place. Behind him, he could feel Mystique and Azazel pull their weapons. The man was struggling against his powers, but Erik just held on.

“Let the kids go.” The man growled just before Erik felt Wanda and Peter tug his jacket and arms.

“Don’t hurt him, he’s with us!” Peter told him.

“He won’t hurt you, I promise!” Wanda insisted and turned to look at the other man. “You won’t hurt them, right Logan?” It was a question, but sounded way too firm to let the gruff looking man answer with any other way than affirmative.

“Yah, they are cool.” Peter boosted his sister’s words and then proceeded to walk between Erik and the gun.

“Get out of the way!” Erik and Logan both yelled to the boy, who didn’t move an inch.

“Only after you promise not to hurt each other.” He argued and Erik let the situation sink in.

“You know this man?” He asked one more time from the children, just to be sure, and both nodded. With a deep breath and a stretch of his powers, Erik made the man, Logan, hold down his shotgun before he let him go. He didn’t try to rise it again, but looked at them with calculating look.

“There! Now we can all be friends.” Peter said and Logan snorted, turning to look at the kids.

“You’re worse than your dad. Who is not pleased with you two, you know. He is worried sick back at the house.” His voice was scolding and seemed effective, making the kids look at the ground. Erik wondered what kind of father they had, if he wasn’t here looking for his missing children. If these were Erik’s children, he wouldn’t be able to just sit around and wait if they were walking in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

“But we just wanted to get him medicine…” Wanda tried to explain. Oh, Erik thought, that might explain it. Logan just shook his head at her.

“And thought it was wise to go alone? Without telling anyone? Chuck is made of tough stuff, he’ll be fine until the morning when we go search for supplies.” He explained, but Wanda and Peter changed a look before they looked at Logan with sheepish smiles.

“Well, we got the medicine already.” Peter said and Wanda continued.

“And more first aid supplies!” She sounded proud and made Logan rub his face. Erik almost pitied the man. Almost.

“And, we helped these guys!” Peter went on and moved to Erik’s side faster than eye could follow. Logan’s attention moved back to their group and looked them up and down. Erik knew they all looked a bit rough, but he was quite sure that everyone did these days. Their clothes were dirty and it had been a while since they had had a chance to bathe. Erik’s hair had grown a bit long and he hadn’t had a chance to shave, but he tried to keep his beard in some shape using scissors. Logan didn’t look much better.

“Did you now? And now they are following you like lost puppies?” Logan smirked. Erik didn’t find his remark very amusing and it appeared that Mystique shared his thoughts.

“We just wanted to make sure that they get back to their group intact.” She smiled at Logan, but her tone was so passive aggressive that it could cause frost bites. It didn’t seem to have much effect on Logan though, who just lifted an eyebrow.

“Appreciated, but I can take it from here.” He almost didn’t time to finish when Wanda already spoke up.

“But we told them that they could come with us.” She told him and Logan let out a suffering sigh.

“Of course you did.” He turned to look at Erik and the others with hard stare. “Look, if you try anything you will find yourselves dead before you can even lift your finger.” He warned them and Erik looked him dead in the eye when he answered, letting his lips curl in to a smirk.

“Good thing we just wish for a shelter then.” He said and the other man actually growled, before he gestured for Wanda and Peter to walk with him.

“Come on then.” He grunted and after sharing looks with Azazel and Mystique, Erik followed.

The rest of the way to the safe house was spent in silence in their part, but the siblings talked with each other in hushed tones. The house was located a small way from the town and had tall stone wall around it. Easy to defend. It had three floors and a small front yard with intact iron gates that were tied together with a rope. The windows had curtains, but dim candlelight was shining between them. The whole house looked surprisingly intact, even when one wall was completely covered in ivy. Erik had to admit that this might be the nicest looking place they had stayed in for a while.

Logan opened the gate and gestured them to go inside. They moved with practiced urgency, it was never wise to stand around for too long. You never knew where a zombie could be hiding. The kids ran towards the front door while Erik and the others stayed with Logan as he tied the gates together again with the rope. Erik didn’t have time to face the door when he heard it open and a firm voice called out for the kids. The same voice that had haunted his dreams ever since he left the beach in Cuba.

“Peter and Wanda Xavier!” Erik turned his head so fast it hurt his neck. It couldn’t be… Surely he had heard it wrong. But no. In the doorway, in the dim light of the moon and leaning heavily on a cane, was standing Charles. His hair was longer, reaching his shoulders and a beard covered his face, though it wasn’t as thick as Erik’s. He must have managed to shave it recently. But his skin was still fair, his lips still sinfully red and his eyes were the same deep blue that Erik remembered and the metalbender wanted desperately that he would gaze at him. But the other man’s eyes stayed on the children. Charles’ children. Erik’s mind blanked completely at that point and he was left standing there, only able to observe the scene before him.

The kids ran to Charles, trying to apologise, but he cut them off.

“None of that. What were you thinking? Running off like that! I was worried sick!” He scolded the kids, his voice holding an edge of anger and underneath it, fear.

“We are sorry dad. We just wanted to get you some medicine.” Peter tried to explain and Wanda nodded beside him.

“We didn’t want you to spend the whole night in pain!” She sounded teary, but Erik couldn’t see her face to confirm it. Charles seemed to be on edge of tears too. He pulled Peter close to him with his free hand and the boy hugged him tightly, his sister joining the hug.

“It was completely foolish of you. I can manage one night with pain, but if I lost you- I could never recover from that.” He stroked their hair and hugged them just a little closer with his arm. “Promise me you won’t do this again.” His voice was serious as he pulled away and looked the kids in the eye.

“We promise dad.” Wanda and Peter said in unison, their voices sincere. Charles bent down, his expression pained, and kissed their heads.

“We’ll talk more about this later.” He said so quietly that Erik almost didn’t catch it.

“Charles…” Mystique had found her voice faster than Erik, who was still trying to process everything he saw and her soft call was enough to Charles lift his head and for the first time look behind his children. His eyes went wide, looking at Mystique in disbelief.

“Raven…” His voice was shaky and he took a tentative step forwards as Wanda and Peter moved out of the way, watching everything with confused looks.

“Raven? Like, aunt Raven?”

“I thought her name was Mystique.”

Charles’ steps became faster as he hurried towards Mystique until his legs gave way beneath him. Erik stepped forward, but Raven was there to catch him in tight embrace. They were both crying, taking in sharp breaths and gripping each other desperately.

“I thought you were dead.” Charles gasped as he stroked her hair and Raven shook her head.

“When we got to the manor you weren’t there.” She tried to explain through her crying. “We couldn’t get there faster. I’m so sorry Charles”

“No, it’s alright. You are here. You are alive.” He cut in and hugged her tighter.

Erik wasn’t sure how long the siblings embraced, but when Charles did pull away from Raven, kissing him one final time on the top of her head, like he used to do all those years ago, he turned those tear filled eyes to Erik. Now, the metalbender expected a lot of things, anger, scorn and a fist to the face were on top of that list, so he was taken by surprise when Charles said his name with tender voice and flung himself to his arms. It took Erik a second to realise what was going on, until he pulled Charles tighter against him, holding his weight and embracing him like he never meant to let him go.

It had been devastating sight to see the Xavier estate overrun by zombies. They’d done their best to look around for survivors, but in vain, there was no living soul in the manor and suddenly every single one of those walking corpses had familiar features. They couldn’t be sure of course of the fates of their former friends, but it had seemed clear then, that they were gone for good. But here was Charles, alive, back from the dead and in Erik’s arms.

“I’m so sorry Charles.” Erik cried against the telepath’s shoulder, overwhelmed by the emotion. “I’m so sorry for everything.” For the bullet that had hit him, for leaving him on that beach, for not contacting him once during the years and failing to find him when the world burned.

“I forgave you long time ago Erik. I’m just so happy that you are alive.” Charles whispered to his ear and he felt the telepath’s fingers comb his hair. The feeling was so familiar that Erik let out a short almost hysteric laugh and moved to nose Charles’ neck, the familiar smell of his old friend calming him.

Erik could have stayed there forever, but the world didn’t stop for them and soon new voices filled the air and forced Erik to lift his head. There were more children running out of the house, asking questions so fast it was hard to keep up.

“Peter, Wanda, where were you?” Asked brown haired boy, abut same age as the siblings, with strange red sunglasses. Which he was wearing at night…

“Are you okay?” A red haired girl asked, sounding worried. She looked youngest of the bunch, about eight years old or so.

“Who are those guys?” Demanded dark skinned girl with striking white hair, looking at Erik and the others with judgemental look. She seemed to be oldest of them, maybe thirteen. Everyone else seemed overwhelmed by the questions, but Charles turned around, appearing more in control than just a second ago and addressed the children.

“I know you must have a lot of questions, but it would be for the best to go back inside to continue this conversation.” He told them, the tone of his voice reminding Erik of the way he used to speak to the children when they trained them in the manor.

The kids listened to Charles and hurried inside, talking amongst themselves.

“Why didn’t you say that you were leaving?”

“Because Scott is a tattletale.”

“Hey!”

“It’s true!”

Charles took a deep breath and Erik noticed that the telepath was still leaning heavily against him and remembered the cane he’d used earlier. He looked at the ground and saw the cane lying there. It had a metal handle and Erik used his powers to slowly levitate it to Charles, whose expression lit up when he saw what Erik was doing, letting out a small laugh. He took the cane from the air and turned to smile at Erik. God he had missed those smiles too.

“Thank you.” Charles said gently and stepped away from the taller man, using the cane as a support. “Come on. Inside, all of you.” He told the adults too, before he started to walk towards the house. Erik watched him a moment, but when he saw how shaky the telepath’s legs were he moved beside him and helped to support him. Charles didn’t say anything, just gave him a grateful look and a nod.

“Should I go to look for the others?” Logan asked, staying behind. Charles turned around to face him and shook his head.

“No, they should be back soon and I don’t want anyone run around there longer than necessary.” Charles explained and turned to speak to Raven and Erik. “They will be happy to see you too.” He said with a smile before he led them inside.

As it turned out, the boys were indeed happy to see Raven when they arrived to the house about ten minutes later. They were even happier to see the twins unharmed. But Erik, not so much. Their reactions differed from Sean’s awkward half sentences, to cold, clipped words from Hank, to Alex’s angry glares. And although Erik knew he deserved some of it after leaving them, leaving Charles, their reactions somehow felt too extreme. But their ire didn’t lessen the relief he felt seeing them again alive and well. They had matured along the years and the road had left its marks on them. Hank was still blue, but Erik thought that he was a bit buffer than he used to be. He didn’t seem to shy away from his new appearance either. Alex and Sean had lost some of their boyish features. Their hair were messy and both had something resembling a beard. Sean also had nasty looking scar running along his left cheek.

The rest of the kids introduced themselves too. The boy with weird glasses was Alex’ little brother Scott, the red haired girl was Jean and the black girl was Ororo. Scott was the reason they had left the school after the missiles. Alex had been terrified for his brother’s fate so they had packed their backs and went to find him. The students had left weeks ago when the cold was seemed to escalate. The journey had taken longer than they had thought and when they made it back to the manor, it was already a lost cause. Along the way, they also found Ororo and Jean. Like his brother, Scott was able to shoot laser blasts, but only from his eyes. That was the reason he used those weird glasses Hank had managed to fix for him. Ororo had the power to control the weather and Jean was telekinetic telepath with steadily growing powers. When Erik brought up that they seemed young to have powers, as they usually manifested in early teens, Hank was quickly to tell about his theory. Apparently, soon after the missiles had caused radiation levels spike, the twins had gotten their powers and didn’t seem to be weaker than they would normally be. It was the same situation with the other kids too. Hank did go on scientific details too, why it might be so, but Erik tuned him out, pondering this new information by himself.

As the evening dragged on, Erik and others were offered food as the others had been eating when Wanda and Peter had sneaked out. They had left them to it as the kids got ready to sleep and the adults busied themselves with other tasks.

“Do you think they are Moira’s?” Mystique asked and Erik felt like someone had poured cold water on his back. He hadn’t really thought about it. Or hadn’t wanted to think about it. Because, he and Charles had been much closer than the children realised. Spending days together recruiting other mutants gave them a chance to get to know each other better. In more ways than one and by the time they moved to the mansion, they were already adept at sneaking around so that they were not caught together in compromising positions. Their feelings they had for each other had run deep, and had made their separation so much more painful. At least, that’s what Erik had thought. That’s what Charles had told him when they laid together in bed, their legs tangled and feeling sated. He had whispered words of love to his ear and Erik had held him closer in turn.

But Peter and Wanda’s age made it clear that Charles had found someone soon after. And maybe it had been Moira. She and Charles had spent their fair share of time together. Maybe they had had something going on even before Cuba… But Erik cut that thought off. There was no reason to speculate. If he wanted to know, he needed to ask from Charles.

“Might be.” He said, trying to keep his voice steady. Maybe if he had his full power still, any metal that remained in the house would have trembled with his storming emotions. But as it was, the only giveaway from his inner tension were his clenched fists.

Later, Charles walked in to the kitchen. He looked tired in the candlelight, but moving around didn’t seem to hurt him as much anymore. Maybe he had taken some of the drugs the twins had brought with them. He avoided looking at Erik, directing his words to Mystique and Azazel.

“I’m sorry, but I need to talk with Erik alone.” He told them, asking them to leave without asking the question outright. Raven looked puzzled, but Azazel smirked at Erik, lifting one eyebrow.

“In trouble already?” He asked and Erik glanced him with an unamused look, but the other man just laughed as he stood up, Mystique doing the same. As she passed Charles by the door, she gave him a tight hug that he returned with a kiss to her hair before she walked out. Azazel settled for a polite nod before he followed Mystique out the room.

The following silence was grinding as Charles just stood there, looking like he was lost deep in thought. Erik waited, not knowing what to expect.

“I’d offer you some tea, but we haven’t had any for months.” Charles finally said, trying to sound light, as he made his way to the table, sitting opposite of Erik, where Raven had been sitting before. Erik couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.

“Must have been the most devastating thing about all of this to you.” He joked and was pleased to hear the other man laugh.

“Indeed.” Charles said, but his smile died down soon and once again he looked pensive. Erik could tell he had something on his mind and gave him time to organise his thoughts.

Finally, Charles turned to look at him, his blue eyes shining with something akin to desperation. Maybe it was the same desperation Erik felt in his heart too. The longing to be close to the other man, but there were years of silence and separation between them. Like a ravine too wide to get across.

“I’m so happy that you’re here Erik, that you’re alive. But I have so many things I need to tell you, I don’t even know where to start.” Charles spoke, shaking his head. He seemed to be lost, so Erik gave in to his feelings and reached over the table, covering the telepath’s hand with his. Charles looked at their hands with shock and then at Erik, who took it as a positive sign that he didn’t pull away from the touch, held it a little tighter.

“Start from the beginning.” He encouraged, looking Charles in the eye and stroking his thumb over the back of his hand, hoping it soothed him. It seemed like it did. Charles nodded at his words and took a deep breath.

“I know that what I’m about to tell you might sound impossible, but I promise you, everything I say is true.” He started and Erik listened carefully every word he said. “After what happened in Cuba I was rushed to a hospital and a surgery. They managed to do some damage control and with some physiotherapy they were positive I’d walk again. I managed to convince them to let me out of the hospital early, as they are not the most pleasant places to be for a telepath.” Charles tried to make the situation more lighthearted, but Erik couldn’t feel it. He had almost paralysed Charles. The thought of it made him numb, but he kept listening, curious of where all of this was going.

“I started to suffer from nausea, but I didn’t think too much about it, I was in a lot of pain back then, so it seemed just logical symptom of that. But as it went on, Hank became concerned of how frequent it was and wanted to take me back to the hospital. I told him that I would not go back, so he did some tests himself.” At this point, Charles sighed and shook his head, a small smile on his lips. “I was so sure he wouldn’t find anything. But turned out that I have a hidden secondary mutation.” The words shocked Erik and he looked the telepath up and down, trying to see if there was something different about him, but saw nothing. Charles smiled at him before he continued.

“Hank redid the tests three times and every single time the result was the same. I was, undoubtedly, pregnant.” Erik’s brain stopped working at that point. Pregnant. That didn’t make any sense.

“What?” His voice was barely audible and his throat felt dry all of a sudden.

“I had a new life growing inside of me.” Charles explained and then shrugged. “Well, two lives, we found out later.” He continued and Erik’s brain was finally able to start to put pieces together.

“The twins.” He said slowly and Charles nodded. So, there was no mother. Or Charles was the mother. But then who-

The realisation hit Erik like a punch. He looked at Charles, eyes wide and heart beating like it wanted to escape through his ribcage. He opened his mouth, trying to ask the question, but nothing came out. Charles seemed to understand him nevertheless and looked at him with shaky smile.

“They are your children Erik.” The words were too much to him. Erik had stood up before he knew it, his thoughts were scattered and flying wild in his head. He ran his hand through his hair as he paced in the small kitchen, feeling the telepath’s eyes on him the whole time.

When he finally got better grip on himself, he turned back to Charles, but didn’t sit down, putting his hands on the back of his chair instead and leaned to it.

“You didn’t tell me.” He stated, his voice quiet and he felt anger rise inside of him. All these years he had children, a family, and the other man had kept it from him. Charles lowered his head, looking at the table rather than Erik. The gesture only managed to stroke his anger, his knuckles were turning white from his tight grip in the chair. “I deserved to know!” He accused the telepath who still kept looking down.

“I know. And please believe when I tell you that there has not been one day since everything fell that I haven’t regretted it.” Charles finally lift his head to look at Erik. His eyes were shining with unshed tears and Erik’s anger died down just like that. He was only left with a pool of swirling emotions he didn’t know how to tell apart.

“Why?” He breathed out harshly. Why did Charles keep this from him? Why, when he knew how much family meant to him? Charles crossed his fingers and rest his chin on them, once again avoiding the metalbender’s eyes.

“I gave myself many excuses. First, I had no way to contact you as no one knew where you were. Then I saw you in the news, even when they didn’t say your name, I knew it was you. I told myself it was to keep them safe.” Charles shook his head with a sigh.” But in reality, I was scared. I was scared that you’d take them away from me too.” His voice faded with the words and Erik had to look away then too.

“Do they know about me?” Erik asked, but he doubted that. The twins hadn’t seemed to recognise him or his name at all. He was just someone their father used to know.

“They know that they have two fathers. They know that their other father was a good man and a powerful mutant. I was scared to reveal too much so they could make the connection between you and the mutant in the news.” Charles explained, trying to keep his voice steady, but Erik could feel it shake.

The silence stretched between them, both of them lost in their own thoughts, until Charles spoke again.

“After the missiles, I wasn’t able to forgive myself. All the moments we could have shared hunted me. I had robbed Wanda and Peter the chance to know their other father, because I had been a coward.” The guilt and anger were apparent in his voice and Erik couldn’t take it any longer. He moved with two long strides beside Charles, put one of his hand on the telepath’s shoulder and the other on his cheek, using it to lift his head so they were now looking at each other.

“It wasn’t only your fault. I left you on that beach, I never tried to contact you and I never looked back, I was too proud for that.” He shared his shame that he had carried with him for years with Charles. He stroked the other man’s cheek, the beard feeling coarse under his hand. Blue eyes were gazing at him with sadness, but there was a certain spark in there. Something that was part of Charles. Hope. And Erik wanted to cherish that hope with everything he had.

“But those decisions are in the past. We cannot change them, no matter how much we might wish so. We can only move forward and I want to do so with you.” Erik’s voice almost broke and the tears in his eyes fell down his cheeks. He looked at Charles’ eyes, begging him to understand. “Please Charles, let me be by your side from now on. I can’t lose you again.” The telepath gasped, his own cheeks now wet from tears, and brought his hands on Erik’s cheeks.

“Of course I want you here, Erik.” He murmured, smiling up at Erik who felt his heart flutter. “There’s nothing I want more.”

Erik couldn’t help himself anymore and so he bent down to catch Charles’ lips in his. They were still as soft as Erik remembered as they kissed with almost desperate manner. It had been over a decade since he had felt this thrill run through him. It had been over a decade since Erik had held Charles like this in his arms and he never wanted to let him go. But soon Erik realised that something was amiss. Something was missing. He pulled away from the kiss, startling Charles whose eyes snapped open.

“Charles,” He whispered and the other man looked at him with worried expression. “I can’t feel your mind…” His words seemed to take the other man by surprise. He blinked couple of times before he managed to find his voice.

“Oh, I didn’t even realise.” Charles said slowly and Erik’s heart jumped to his throat, was something wrong with Charles? But then there was a very faint warmness at the back of his mind, a ghost sensation of Charles’ usually so bright presence.

“Is it because the missiles?” Erik asked. He knew that their powers were affected because of them, but he couldn’t almost feel Charles at all! Charles gave him a sad smile.

“Not entirely…” he said and Erik looked at him with confusion, willing him to tell him more. “There was an accident.” Somehow Erik thought that this would be a longer story, so he moved just enough so he was sitting on the chair beside Charles and then took the telepath’s hands in his once again.

Charles took a deep breath before he started talking.

“It was not long after we had to leave the manor. I had noticed that I could feel the minds of the zombies, but they were like voids, dark, twisted and broken, and I couldn’t touch them the way I could others. Or I just didn’t want to try. But one day, when we were running from a herd, Sean fell and got trapped in some barbed wire. He had been running behind us and we were too far to reach him in time, though Hank tried.” Charles closed his eyes then as he shuddered. “I didn’t even think what I was doing. I just focused hard on the zombie closest to Sean and suddenly I was trapped in what felt like a world of endless hunger and agony. Suddenly I was only able to hear all those dead minds around me and I couldn’t get away.” Charles shook his head, like he was trying to get away from the memory and blinked his eyes open.

“I woke up three days later. The boys told me that I had managed to kill every zombie close to us, but they hadn’t been able to wake me up afterwards. And after that day, the dead minds have become louder than they were before. Like they are trying to pull me back to that place and that is why I keep my telepathy rained so close now days. That I don’t get lost there again.” Erik felt a chill run through him as he listened Charles’ story. To think that he came so close to lose the telepath and didn’t even know… He moved so he could tug Charles against his chest.

“How did you wake up?” Erik wondered aloud as he wrapped his arms around Charles who shrugged and rested his head on the metalbender’s shoulder.

“We are not completely sure. I don’t remember much, but we think it had something to do with Wanda.” Erik looked down at the telepath, letting out a questioning hum and Charles hurried to continue. “She was there when I finally woke up. We are still not quite sure about the true nature of her powers. She uses them mostly to manipulate energy and matter, but I think that it’s just a fraction of her potential.” Charles explained, his voice getting that tone of excitement it used to when he talked with Erik about the future or the mutants they encountered. Apparently it was the same tone he used when he talked about their children.

The thought didn’t cease to amaze Erik. Their children. He was a father. The notion thrilled and scared him at the same time. He wanted to know everything about them and tell them so many things.

“I don’t even know how to be a parent.” He wondered aloud and Charles turned to look up at him with a gentle smile.

“Don’t worry, I know you’re going to be a wonderful father.” He lifted his hand to stroke Erik’s cheek and Erik leaned to that warm touch, letting it soothe his mind and heart. Still, it wasn’t quite enough to silence the words of doubt in his head.

“How can you say that? After all I’ve done. I’ve killed and destroyed, my hands are stained with blood. How can I ever be a good influence for them?” Everything in his past said otherwise, but Charles just cupped his head with both of his hands and brought their foreheads together.

“The fact that you even think that proves that you are more ready than you think.” He said gently, but his eyes were firm, staring Erik with devotion. “Your actions have never welled from hate, but the urge to protect. You’ve never been a monster Erik, not then, not now.” He could feel Charles’ presence in his head again, cradling his mind close in warm embrace. Erik took a shaky breath as he took hold of the telepath’s wrists to keep him close.

Charles chuckled and shook his head just slightly.

“I had no idea what I was doing either. I was terrified that I’d make mistakes, and I did, but I learned from them.” He kissed Erik then, a tender touch of lips and Erik answered the same way. When they stopped to breathe, Charles gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I know they will adore you and I’ll be here with you whole time.” And Erik felt his heart sing from the notion, because it was true. Charles was here, they could do this together. He had no words to describe his happiness for it, so he just kissed Charles again and basked in the sparkling warmth of his mind.

But, as Erik deepened the kiss, licking in the telepath’s mouth to hear him moan, and pulled Charles to his lap, he felt him flinch with small pained groan. Erik broke the kiss to look at the man on his lap closely. There was small but unmistakeable amount of tension in telepath’s features.

“Are you in pain?” Erik asked, like an idiot because he could clearly see that it was the case, but his brain seemed to still trying to catch up with the change of the situation. “Should we move?” He asked instead, but Charles shook his head.

“I’ll live.” He assured him, but moved slightly so he could rub his lower back. “All this traveling isn’t good for my back.” He explained with a slightly strained smile. A sudden flash of guilt filled Erik and he moved his hand to touch lightly the place on Charles’ back where the bullet had hit.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, but Charles just shook his head and kissed him softly.

“Hush. It was an accident.” He murmured and moved some hair off Erik’s eyes. “And I will be fine. We’ll probably stay here for a couple of days at least. We need to get more supplies.” He explained and kept combing Erik’s hair with his fingers. The telepath looked at his features for a moment with a measuring eyes, before he smiled.

“I rather like this new rugged look of yours.” He said with flirtatious tone and stroked his thumb over Erik’s beard. Erik smirked at the other man and mirrored the move.

“You don’t look too bad either, you know.” He flirted back, but Charles pulled away from his touch, sniffing at him.

“Oh I hate it. Too itchy.” He complained, rubbing the beard himself and Erik let out an amused laugh.

“You always had a sensitive skin.” He thought back on the times he had used that to his advantage. From Charles’ teasing expression, he might have remembered them too.

“You would know it, wouldn’t you?” Charles murmured before he kissed Erik again, shortly this time, before he continued combing his hair.

Erik let the motion soothe him before he spoke up.

“Your group, do you have a destination?” He inquired. With Azazel and Raven, they just had moved on, travelled with no end goal, hoping to find some kind of shelter to stay. It had frustrated Erik to no end.

“We’ve heard rumours that there is a community in the south. An island called Genosha.” Charles told him, but Erik remained sceptical.

“You think it’s real?” He asked with a frown that Charles smoothed away with a thumb and smiled at him.

“I have to hope.” He answered and it was such a Charles thing to say that Erik couldn’t help but smile too.

“I haven’t had much of that anymore these days. We just tried to survive to see the next day.” He told, remembering the long days and people they’d lost along the way. “Sometimes I wondered why I bothered.” He confessed. When those thoughts had plagued his mind, he told himself that he needed to go on for Raven and Azazel. They had followed him this far and he couldn’t let them down. But part of him knew, that they would be fine without him and every step seemed to become heavier.

“Maybe you now have a reason to keep going.” Charles suggested, still talking about Genosha, but Erik had already found something much better to keep his hope from dying.

“Yes. I have.” He replied and pulled his friend to another kiss, telling him with that, that he had found a new reason to keep going. Not the mysterious island, but his family. And maybe, just maybe, they could survive this. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> My final fic for Cherik Week 2020! I enjoyed this event so much and I'm so happy I decided to participate. Thank you for everyone for reading, leaving kudos and commenting! They have meant so much for me and I feel like I have more power than ever to keep writing.  
> Kiitos! ^-^/


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